Joe's Here!
A few things happened before dinner, however. Firstly, Antonio came over and went to pour us some martinis, but since I'd lost the cap after the poker party two weeks ago, the bottle had been left open. Thus when Antonio poured out the Martini, he discovered what he called "a colony." I was in the kitchen getting ice and slices of lime when I heard him say, "Lawra (cuz that's how they say it here), we have a colony." Of course I have no idea what he's talking about and I think maybe he's confused about English or maybe I misheard him. So I say, "What?" and he says "We have a colony." This is when I came out and saw the dead drunk bugs. Who knew little bugs fancy Martinis? And, just think, what a stupendous death they had in there. Of course, as much fun as it was to see all these dead drunk bugs, it was even more fun to recall Antonio calling them a colony. It made me feel so 1776! Surrending the Martini idea, we diverted to the classic gin-n-tonics. This is when Antonio proved he'd outsmarted me once again. While telling me about my forthright journal life, he confessed that he had something to tell me too. He confessed that the jazz CD he gave me, Temperino, was really his own! So what he'd done was give me the music last week, asked me to listen to it and then, after I told him very bluntly how I felt about each song (some I liked, some I didn't) he confessed that I was critiquing him! What a tricky sorcerer!
During dinner Joe made his first Italian friend: a dark grey and white dog named Umi. He fed Umi veal and bread and Umi pretty much decided he never wanted to leave Joe's side. This made the Italian waiters a little confused. They normally don't encourage four legged dinner partons, but since we were already seated, letting him join our table seemed reasonable. At some point, after the veal was gone, Umi disappeared and so did we.
The way my life in Rome works is this: I only know like 5 people in all of Rome, but somehow I constantly seem to be crossing paths with them. This time, just as Joe and I arrived at the Drunken Ship I ran into Chris. He was there having drinks with some of his Italian school classmates. This included Nick and Mike, two New Zealand blokes who've set up a burger joint in France, and then Teresa, a young German girl who, for whatever reason, seems to prefer English speaking company to proper Germans. (Can't blame her... Germans are wierd... Remember all the naked ones I saw in Riva del Garda?)
At some point here, Joe started picking up on some cute Texas girl at the table behind us. The rest of us decided it was time to disappear and thus we followed Teresa to some dance club bar near Piazza Navona. Turns out that, despite all my best intentions, I still somehow managed to find myself in a hip hop club. How and why does this always happen to me? I just don't ever feel quite right in those places.. but I make the best of it. The four of us had more Jaegermeister and did some booty shaking until we just couldn't shake our booties no more. (Also known as when they turned the lights on and started kicking us out.) From there we hopped in a taxi and went back to the apartment for some poker and more drinking. (Yes, brilliant idea! Just what we all needed!)
Being that none of us were of sound mind or body, it finally was time for everyone to pass out. Chris tried to do that in the bathroom but eventually he was convinced otherwise. Thus the picture above of the poor guy asleep on my couch. Joe finally stumbled home at 4:30am and tried to break down the door with his shoudler before I finally got up and let him in. He, like Chris, also passed out quite mightily. (And how he got his arm into that position, we still have not figured out.)
Being that today is only Wednesday and only Joe's second day in Rome, I am starting to fear for my sanity. Last night was more fun than I should have had on a Tuesday.. who knows what'll be in store for the rest of the weekend!
However Chris told me over the weekend about a two-for-one happy hour at the Hard Rock from 4 to 7pm. Joe and I were craving nachos and cheap American cocktails, so we mosied our ways up there around 5:30. In true happy hour fashion we each had 4 margaritas, a plate of nachos and some onion rings with BBQ sauce. Feeling much more human, we trapsed (or rather stumbled) onto Via Veneto to look for more fun.
This place was very cool looking, but absolutely and completely empty. Our only companions were the lobsters, an eel and a couple of big ghost white fish that kept circling the tank (eating the focaccia I was tossing in at them). Joe had some risotto seafood stuff, I had some cheeses, and he tried some Campari/Prosecco drink while I had a pair of apple pie martinis. All was good - we got silly - started playing a little too much with the lobsters (see: Joe's Stupid Question of the Day) and eventually felt encouraged to be on our way and go home.
Thursday was a pretty stupid pointless day. I don't even remember anymore what we did. It went pretty much like every other day in our pointless aimless lives. We wokeup. I went walking. Joe wrote his Stupid Question of the Day. Then we ate. Then we napped. Then we went out to drink and eat some more. For dinner we met a new friend. This was Alexander, a guy from Sydney who works for the Australian Embassy here in Rome. When we say "work" we mean he is on an "unemployed internship." Yeah. Joe and I don't get it either. We don't even want to work for money, much less for nothing. We had dinner, lots of champagne at the fancy champagne bar in Trastevere and then the night went a little sour. Joe left and went to watch the Yankees games at his underground sports bar. I had to fend off Alexander for a while, but did eventually make it to bed, alone and happy.
So, yeah, Devki arrived and I was nervous about how well she and Joe would get along. I worried that because her personality is as loud as his that they might clash, but instead they immediately bonded. The next day, I kid you not, I caught Joe down on one knee with an engagement ring to her. I double-took my look and then they were back to standing there, giggling together, and being well behaved. So, yeah, long and short, they got along swell. We went out and met up with Dario, Antonio and Antonio (a new one!) at Sloppy Sams after having a big old mess of pizza up the street. Dario didn't last long with us, but Antonio and Antonio joined the three of us to watch the Yankees game at 2am over at Joe's Underground Sport Bar. (The name is yet to be registered, but soon enough!) The night was very long. We finally got booted out of the joint at 4 or 5am. Came home and Devki and I talked boy talk for hours while Joe lulled himself into a peaceful, non-boytalk slumber.
Originally Joe told Devki he'd join her on some touring and for some shopping but, in true Italian fashion, he got over that whole "motivation" thing and wanted to go home and take a nap with me. (Who can blame him?) Devki was less than enthused and thus she dragged us all over tarnation with her for a long hour walk back to my flat. We somehow ended up at the Pantheon, where Devki gave a horrid scream when she saw that they were doing, THE HORROR, reconstruction on one-sixth of the place. Finally Joe and I deposited Devki at the tourist office (a proper place for all tourists to be deposited) and we went home to nap. Devki wandered the streets, bought lemoncello and parmesan and other Italian things. We slept. Finally by 7pm we were all home and dressed and motivated to go out for a fun night with my wacky Italian pals.
It was rough but we survived. We finally found a place to take us and we all proceeded to drink wine, eat so-so food and talk up more nonsense. Here's some pictures from our encounter:
After dinner the group brokeup into a load of disarray. I blame Antonio and his sorcerer magic. He appeared out of nowhere at the Pantheon and with two lady friends. One of them was, apparently, Dario's ex from around ten years ago. What fun to see Dario squirm when he confronts ex girlfriends! But not fun enough for us to last all night watching in amusement. Thus we migrated over to the Drunken Ship. Unfortunately the Drunken Ship was painfully crowded. We instead decided to return to our regular place next door to Sloppy Sam's. The waitress there is a complete bitch and hates us every time we sit down, but I think I'm warming on her, and vice versa. We had her clean off some rain soaked tables and Joe and Devki and Antonio and I took a few "digestifs" (read: Italian way of saying "more booze"). Both Johns had disappeared.. Dario was off chasing his ex girlfriend.. and Paul was lurking around corners making strange michievious faces at me. Finally they all disappeared and poor Antonio was trapped with three Americans as we explained our traditions of Thanksgiving and Groundhog Day. He smiled a lot and nodded a lot. I think he read that in a pamphlet distributed by the Italian government that addresses "how to deal with crazy slightly drunk and not-quite threatening Americans at a bar."
Today we bade farewell to Devki and she returned to London and now Joe and I are drinking our second glass of wine before dinner. Surely more chaos will ensue... especially since it's the 4th game of the ALCS playoff and we are sure to return to Joe's Underground Sports Bar at 2am for that game.
Sunday night wasn't all that exciting. I almost had a chance to see one of our New Zealand friends on Sunday night but he suddenly caught the wild bird flu from Taiwan and went MIA. Instead Joe and I went out and had dinner at the "mushroom restaurant" up the street, where we got a little too tired and drunk and invented a new language that only the two of us understand. Needless to say that by midnight we were both asleep and catching up on the slumber we'd missed over the past few days. On Monday I wokeup feeling very inpired. I wet for a two hour hike around Circo Massimo and returned to find Joe as stagnant as ever. Not sure what we did after that, but eventually we went out to the Scottish bar on Nazionale. Had a few rounds, Joe hit on the bartender girls and I tried to figure out how to check my cell phone voicemail. (The messages were starting to clog up like a bad broken toilet.) Then we strolled over to a cheap tourist restaurant around the corner. This place put flags on your table to identify where you're from. Of course we didn't want to be identified as Americans.. so Joe tried to pass us off as Canadians. I wasn't into that either. Canadian versus Amerian? Isn't that like hell or double roasted hell? We were screwed. So we took both of them (as you can see.) After that we strolled over to Campo dei Fiori and the Drunken Ship. Not much happening in Rome on a Monday but we got an outside table and met Greg, the doorguy, and all his girlfriends. Joe offered to take over his job.. but this Greg guy had it right. All these drunk American girls, lost in Rome and in need. Greg has the best job on the planet. (At least for a guy!) Eventually we met an Irish dude who was one in the same as the guy who booted Joe from the sports bar a week earlier. We made friendly and then all headed over to Joe's Underground Sports Bar. Unfortunately the bar was full of stupid Boston college kids rooting for the Red Sox. I had to leave. Joe stayed and ended up in a big old fight. When I wokeup Tuesday he had a nice big shiner on his cheek. Go Joe!
Since our trip to Greece this weekend is all set, we had nothing to worry about. Or so I thought. Until I got email from my sublet tenants in New York telling me that the building management people were trying to evict them for illegally subletting my place. Bollocks, right? That's what I said. Turns out that all that happened is the building people slipped a note under almost everyone's doors telling them that they were aware that some people were subletting illegallly. My subletors assumed this meant them and so they went down and tried to confront the management people. In general that is a bad idea. New York management people are the worst type of people in the planet. When confronted by slightly mentally unstable older guys with MS, they are even more abberant. This is what we learned. Apparently the woman my tenant talked to told him off.. and thus my tenant spent the evening telling me about my improperly place subwoofers, about how he was going to file litigation against me, about how he wanted some Gentleman Jack but I didn't have some and about how, when and if I return to the US my passport will be confiscated. Who knew it was internationally illegal for a simple blonde girl to sublet her place to a slightly mentally unstable older guy and his sweet wife? Not me!
Anyway. So after all this chaos, I drank a gin and gin and gin and gin and tonic. Then Antonio arrived, calmed my nerves and we all went out to find a nice pizzeria. Thus we did (with a small unintentional tour en route). There we met with Julio, Antonio's musician/actor friend from Napoli. The four of us had dinner, white wine, pizzas, grappa, all that good stuff. From there we drove Julio's car to Campo de Fiori. Of course I tried to give him directions about where to park, but I am pretty much as worthless about parking in Rome as in speaking in Rome. So we parked somewhere else and walked a ways. In Campo, we met Melanie (my newest British friend) and her friend Dave (from New York). Many tequila shots later, we were all buying all the roses from everyone on the square (in Rome there are sellers who try to get you to buy a bunch of roses. Early in the night they are 10 euros, then later 5 euros, then even later, for "some money." Thus we gave them "some money" and ended up with too many roses.) As 2am rolled around we found ourselves in need of a newer and later open bar. Thus Melanie suggested Jonathan's Angels. This place is full of pictures of the owner, a light haired older Italian guy, in all sorts of kooky and precarious poses. Quite funny. Unfortunately Melanie and I were trying to swindle free drinks and were not successful before they shut the bar and we had to go elsewhere. This is when we found our way to another underground bar.. or, rather, a proper club. We had to join to get in, so Joe forked over the 5 euros each membership fee and we all tossed in our ID cards. Unfortunately this gaggle of German guys Melanie and I had picked up somehow from Jonathan's Angels were without ID and thus could not enter.
With all the drinks, the crazy dancing people and the late hour I finally decided to scamper home at 5am. I left the rest of the crowd and was kindly escorted by some strange dude on the street to the nearest taxi. (Italy seems ripe with men willing to escort a lady to a taxi in exchange for her following him all sorts of wrong directions and then forking over her number after the fact. I'm keen on this trick though and thus I found my own taxi!) Not sure when Joe got home. I returned and saw how painfully late it was.. and how the Yankees were losing.. and thus I went to bed. Wednesday was a wash. Joe and I both wokeup really late.. did nothing.. I had to battle my crazy sublet tenants more in New York (don't worry - full length version of that story will be online soon.. ).. and I had to talk to the creep management people of my apartment all the day long. After being super stressed I did what any smart girl would do. I agreed to go with Joe, have a bunch of pizza and wine and then come home half sloshed and wait for Antonio to come over for a while. Thus that was my evening. Pizza. Wine. Antonio. I know.. I'm starting to repeat myself.. Forgive me.. but when a girl finds a good thing... Joe and I wokeup at 2:30am to watch game seven of the ALCS championship.. Or in other words, the final Yankees/Red Sox game. Needless to say the Yankees sucked it up bigtime and both Joe and I went to bed in sad desperation. The only good thought we could have was that since the Yankees weren't in the World Series anymore at least we wouldn't be missing the games so much when we're on our cruise this coming week! Yes, 'tis right! Tomorrow Joe and I fly to Athens. We spend a night there at the Marriott (with a friends and family discount thanks to my friend Chris in Maryland!).. Then on Saturday we take the Wind Star Spirit cruise through the Greek Islands, over to Sicily and then to Capri and back to Rome. Seven fun filled nights and days! And on a fancy sailboat! How nice! Unfortunately there is no Internet access on our big fancy boat. Thus you'll all just have to wait for a great big huge update when we return next Saturday! Til then, ciao!! << back to where it all began... Content & Photos © 2004 Laura Laytham, laura@girlsaresmarter.com. |
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